Tag Archives: marriage

How to Stay “In Love” Once You Have a Baby

Today is mine and Josh’s second anniversary! As the day has been approaching, a lot of things have been on my mind: how two years is such a short time but also so long, how lucky I am to have married such a wonderful man, how we have already brought the most beautiful life into the world and how she brings us the most happiness, how many adventures we still have ahead of us, and… how tired we both are! Life is busy. Wonderful, but busy and exhausting. We have been blessed with so many opportunities and chances to work, and we sure take a lot of time to play. Looking back at the time when we were engaged, it’s laughable that we ever thought we were busy or tired! Planning a wedding is nothing compared to the every day life of work, school, maintaining a home, raising a child, and being a partner in marriage. Sometimes, at the end of the day, I wonder if I have put too much time into all those other things and let the most important thing to me become my last priority; saving it for those few seconds at night right after I brush my teeth and right before we both begin to snore.  Granted, our motivation for all of our work and such is each other and our family. But I want Josh to come first! He came first in the beginning, before new jobs and school, before a kid, before the reality of buying diapers and paying for cars and a house. He’s also the one that’s here to stay. In thirty or so years, it’s going to be just us again. How awkward is that going to be if through all the chaos of life we’ve fallen out of love and hardly know each other? How can we stay in love and keep each other as our number one while still living our every day lives, and giving our sweet girl (and other children to come) the love and attention they deserve? Here are a few things that I have worked out and have been practicing, and please share other ways that you know to stay in touch with your spouse!

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  1.  Say thank you for the things that he/she does for you, big and small. Not only will it mean a lot to them, but you’ll start to feel more grateful and notice more of the things that they do for you.
  2. When he/she gets home, stop what you are doing for a hello and a hug. If you take a pause from the dishes or playing with the kids to welcome them home, they’ll remember that you love them and that after everything, they’re your number one.
  3.  Find little ways, out of the ordinary, to show them you love them, like leaving a note in their work pants, or making their favorite meal (or ordering it…)
  4. Go to bed at the same time as your spouse every night. If you both get things done for the evening and wait up for each other when necessary, it will mean a lot to have a few minute alone together before you go to sleep.
  5. Have a weekly date night! Josh and I are in the habit of this, but we are also in the habit of date night becoming falling asleep while watching a movie in bed…. BUT, when we take the time for a real, planned-ahead-of-time date, even if it’s just games and pizza, we keep falling more in love every day, and remember our times together before kids, lots of bills, and being full-blown grown ups.